WOMEN ARE TO BLAME!

For thousands of years men have prided themselves on being stronger, smarter, and generally better than women, created as a necessity for the reproduction of men by a man with a big gray beard whose difference from other men was his ability to make men without the help of a woman.

Don’t re-read this sentence. You can’t find logic in the deeds of someone who’s officially inscrutable. The same gray-bearded guy made men’s life expectancy shorter than women’s, so that women would realise, posthumously, how valuable men were in their lives, and pass the revelation on to other women.

Fair or not, it had worked perfectly until the 1970s, when something went wrong.

We failed God’s design, again.

And again, the feminist kind of women were to blame!

Just like the very first time, when Eve decided to act without talking to Adam first.

A Renaissance artist of the 15th century from Siena can provide us with illustrative material of this Grand Descent.

IMG_9639

It was Eve who offered the forbidden fruit to Adam. Look at Adam’s private parts resembling an innocent bird. A German artist a couple of decades earlier made an even more seductive version * :

Lucas Cranach

* I explain how apples and breasts are related here (Pure fun, and lots of apples)

And, of course, the man with the big gray beard couldn’t fail to notice that Adam’s “innocent bird” took to flight, so to say. I mean, other animals must have picked up the general idea of the pleasures of sex pretty fast. One doesn’t have to be omnipresent to become aware of a half of Paradise’s population struggling with erection.

We all know that on this Earth the speed of sound leaves much to be desired. Your mom tells you something when you’re 9, and it finally reaches you when you’re 35 and it’s too late. God loves you in a different way: his love is faster, and messages more direct. Once an errand angel lovingly kicks your bottom, you start descending.

The important revelation is provided by the same Renaissance sculptor (the author of the bas-relief above). Adam’s first reaction was to shift blame onto Eve. Look at his accusing finger. It screams, “It was her! She’s to blame!”

IMG_9640

But if there’s one thing you can’t do, it is fooling God.

So, as Masaccio rightly showed some 50 years before the sculptor made this panel, Adam and Eve had to descend from the Garden of Eden, in equally shared shame:

masaccio_expulsion_dtl

What can it teach the modern Man?

That his instinctive, and inherent inclination to shift blame to women is intolerably shameful for someone who deems himself bigger, stronger, and smarter.

Adam showed himself as an infantile teenager incapable of taking responsibility.

Has anything changed since the Descent? Or, at least, since the Renaissance artist exposed Adam’s immaturity?

You tell me.

Advertisements

20 thoughts on “WOMEN ARE TO BLAME!

  1. dewitz

    In this case, Eva is blamed for something, she could be proud of. It´s interesting, that
    most pieces of art are interpreting what happened as a kind of sexual seduction.
    that´s not really in the text (perhaps in a subtext). eva isn´t promised supersex nor is she promising this.
    She is told: “you will be like god and know what is good and evil”. So in paradise men were mainly like animals,
    not able to look at themselves form outside, not knowing about moral, shame or guilt. animals have sex, but they never “see”, that they are naked. So Eve was the inventor of self consciousness, of making your own decision about right or wrong. And that is an ability, she should be proud of. But of course, it´s bringing a lot of troubles and so we are no longer in paradise. It´s funny, that the artist from siena is showing adam and eve naked, while cranach is hiding their
    “private parts”, perhaps reformation has a more narrow idea of moral.

    Reply
    1. artmoscow Post author

      You are very right – there is much more to the expiulsion story than meets the eye when you look at its artistic depiction. And, yes, German artists would normally cover the genitals, although Durer would go for a naked Adam vs. ‘obstcured’ Eve – which is, perhaps, true, if we assume that Eve had taken a bite of the apple, before she offered the fruit to Adam. She must have realised her own nudity. I think many artists went for the erotic story because it was fun to do. Very often, the only permissible fun at all )

      Reply
  2. Featured E-Magazine

    Without woman, man would not exist. But, like my wife always told me, just blame me when you want to rant about something not getting done (i.e. The roofer is taking to long – “My wife is getting a little pissed about this, can you guys hurry it up a bit!”.

    Reply
    1. artmoscow Post author

      I knew The Perfect Man was invented by women to scare their husbands by comparison, but I thought the Pissed Wife was a male trick. I was wrong, women seem to have invented everything )

      Reply
    1. artmoscow Post author

      Thank you! ) I only wish my camera made a better shot of the accusing finger – as this is a rather iconic image that can be sent to any male friend who is caught shifting blame ) I’ll remedy it next year, I think.

      Reply
  3. Austin Starr

    how funny and well written! can people really get mad at you for this? maybe those who take The (capital ‘t’) Scriptures (capital ‘s’) as divine or inspired or — hello! — real. nicely done. congratulations.

    Reply
  4. kathleenedick

    I love the pointing finger too, especially that if you read carefully, the Scripture says that Adam was the one who knew the consequences (he was told this before Eve came to be), Eve was deceived, but Adam was not, he chose Eve over God…not that she did not know, but Adam had been directly given the don’t eat directive ,he was there with her and did not stop her. Well, we can all relate I think, if it wasn’t them, it would have been us! The Bible is the source for some interesting art!

    Reply
    1. artmoscow Post author

      Thank you for raising this topic to a new level! Indeed, Adam’s trade-off is something to think about. Did he trade off God’s grace for Eve’s love, expecting – from the very beginning – he could shift blame onto her later? Hm…

      The Bible is also the source of some interesting metaphors, and it is a pity we don’t use them now. “Eating from the tree of knowledge” is, of course, a metaphor of learning something that should better stay unlearned. Instead of saying, I graduate from the MIT, one could proudly say, “I ate from the MIT tree of knowledge”, for instance.

      Reply
  5. Anna

    Ugh. I “love” how the misogynistic bullshit of the man’s downfall is all about ‘blame the woman’! not ‘blame the devil’! The man is absolved of any responsibility for not stopping an effing second to think and ask about the fruit and such. The devil is likewise absolved from starting this whole process, because what? he’s just a lizard sunbathing on a branch with some apples. Nope, the v@gina did it. The whole thing. The whole downfall of humanity.

    Reply
    1. artmoscow Post author

      You are not taking me seriously, right? )
      ‘Cause I just love the way Adam points at Eve on a panel made by the chief architect of the Siena Cathedral )

      Yet it is so tempting to shift blame…

      Reply
      1. Anna

        No, I know, I know… I do get the irony/sarcasm mix.
        Still,I am mildly enraged by the straightforward statement of just what I described in the established biblical an modern religious/societal narrative

        Reply

It would be grand to hear from you now!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s