An open question to David Duchovny

David,

I write, generally, about art, its values, and, occasionally, its value, and how the latter was changing throughout history. Right now, I am working on Giotto’s Kiss of Judas, and as I love to show how art of the past can be relevant today, I need to calculate the current value of a Tyrian shekel (Judas sold out Christ for 30 of those, you know). I know how much silver costs, but I need to know the symbolic value of those 30 coins. I am sure you can help me out, and it will take a moment of your time.

You are starring in a TV advert for a Russian brand of beer (owned by a Belgian holding company) that talks about the pride of being Russian. It went live a few days ago and became an instant hit.

You are very sincere in this ad, talking of how proud you would be if you lived in Russia. You talk about Russia’s expanses, its space ships, satellites, bath houses, hunting trips, and ballet.

It should come as no surprise to you that Russian television went crazy over this short film, rotating it non-stop in its news programs as a proof that Americans support Russia at the time when Russia and the US seem to be edging closer towards a new Cold War. The part with the beer was tenderly removed, because beer advertising is prohibited on TV in Russia.

You are now a new Putin’s hero, I guess: a celebrity American who stands for Russia at this difficult time of a covert war with Ukraine.

And please, don’t tell me you didn’t know you were being filmed for a propaganda clip.

This nicely nationalistic advert was filmed in May this year: media cannons of war had been firing their deadly terabytes of lies and twisted truths for half a year by that time.

I am not challenging your convictions. it’s just that your granddad wasn’t even Russian.

He was a Jew from Ukrainian Kiev, who fled from the massacre of Jews tacitly organized by the Russian Czar to draw people’s energy away from the Revolution.

But you’ve known it since April, right? Before filming the advert. You were so convincing you were half-Russian, oscar-quality acting that was!

Рисунок1

I need help to understand how you can be proud now to be a prized spokesperson for the new Russian Czar.

Or, rather, I simply want to know, how much.

How much did it take, before taxes, to tell the world you would be proud to be Russian, descending from a Ukrainian Jew who fled an ethnic Pogrom? I mean, doing all this at a time when Russian media is successfully selling the idea of an armed Crusade against the “Fascist band of Kiev Jews and Ukrainian nationalists”?

Your answer would help my research immensely.

I don’t have much (at least as much as the Belgian beer group) to offer you for your generosity, except, perhaps, an insight into what really your life could be, were you born in Russia.

You imagine yourself to be an astronaut, a rock star, a hockey player, an actor or a ballet director (or at least someone who has unrestricted access to teenage girls training to become ballerinas).

Рисунок2

These famous Hollywood actors can testify that a copy-paste operation on a human soul does not work as smoothly as on a computer, when Russia is the final destination:

With your family name, Duchovny, meaning in Russian “soulful”, you need to take extra care to avoid exchanging “ful” for “less”.

Hope it helps.

PS If this post gets shared, the handshake rule of Facebook may help the real David read the rumblings 😉

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3 thoughts on “An open question to David Duchovny

  1. fremka

    In case with David a lot of people think the same and hard to disagree. Though it was quite brave to ‘go against’ the US mashing ensuring people in the world the US is the only country to be proud of. But when thinking about the kiss of Judas I would rather discuss (for inspiration) people who have their everything thanks to their country, who very often deceive it by hiding income, not paying taxes etc. and who at the same time will never say a single positive word about Russia. Agree there are so many of them and they can be even closer than you thought! For the same price they would sell their country or people around whose friendship they have already used and can’t benefit from it any longer, no difference. Unhappy ones, sour from their own poison, deeply lonely victims of their complexes. I’m proud to be Russian and proud I can help at least my foreign colleagues to see another side of the Moon, or at least to believe that another side exists 🙂

    Reply
    1. artmoscow Post author

      Erm… People who “hide” the most of national income are the ones who, actually, rule the country, I am afraid. I am not sure I understand the concept of a country providing or helping people to get everything. I’ve always thought it’s one’s own efforts that are at the base. And, certainly, it is very wrong to cheat on taxes, especially when the legal powers, which define what the taxes should be, have been elected freely and are accountable for the ways they spend those taxes. That’s what caused the American revolution 😉

      This post is not about Russian pride, there’s nothing wrong about it, when it is grounded in knowledge. When it is ruled by ignorance, it becomes nationalism, to which I am very allergic 😉

      Reply

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